We have a tendency to be our own worst enemies. We are overly critical not only of ourselves, but each other. We put ourselves last and always question our gut feelings. Well the time to stop is now. After much self analysis I’ve narrowed it down to 7 things that I need to stop doing, and I’m guessing they are things that we all do. So let’s talk.
1. Stop being scared of failure
I’m a big proponent of failure and it’s importance in us moving forward and being able to grow. The fear of failing however is often the largest obstacle that we face in life. It stops us trying. We dwell on the feelings that failure can bring rather and the damage to our pride rather than seeing the positives. There really is something to the old saying ‘Nothing ventured nothing gained.’
2. Stop being too humble to celebrate our wins
Society has taught us that humility is a sought after trait, and to a point that is true. But there is nothing wrong with patting ourselves on the back from time to time. From being proud of the little things and our everyday achievements such as parenting successes to the bigger life accomplishments such as a career score or life goal achieved. Life is to be celebrated and enjoyed. So make sure you do.
3. Stop comparing ourselves
We’ve always done it, but in this day with social media, it is so much more prevalent. We get online perusing Pinterest and Facebook comparing our own lives to those on ‘display’. We compare ourselves in every single way we can. Our lives, our parenting, our fashion sense, our homes. But for what? It only serves to magnify the negatives in our lives. Rather than compare, why not appreciate the differences in our lives. We are walking different paths and that is what is wonderful about life.
4. Stop trying to fit in
We’ve been doing it since high school, possibly earlier. We just want to fit in. But is that healthy? Fitting in often means conforming to others beliefs and putting your own innate feelings and preferences in the back seat. Unless you are true to your authentic self you will always feel lost. Again, see point 3 and celebrate the differences that make you, you. 5. Stop setting the wrong goals What are wrong goals? Surely as long as they are important to you they are worth setting? Yes, that is true, but too often we set ourselves unrealistic goals rather than achievable ones. Understanding the difference between dreams and goals is the first step. Recently I was pointed towards an amazing and insightful article from author Hugh Howey which touches on this subject and is well worth the read. He talks about the necessity of having dreams but the importance of making the right goals in relation to these dreams. Go. Read it. Now.
5. Stop striving for perfection
Again, I blame social media. Seeing all those perfect pins of gorgeous home decor, amazing craft for kids and home-baked masterchef birthday cakes has turned us into questioning anything less than Pinterest Perfect in our lives. The thing is, perfect doesn’t is exist, it is simply a perception and striving for a perception is exhaustive and unrewarding. We should simply be striving for our best. Our best is what is possible at that point in time. Do you best, that is all that is required. Cultivate this way of thinking and your state of mind will be much healthier.
6. Stop worry about things out of your control
How often do you find yourself worrying about things you can’t actually do anything about? Whether it’s worrying about what other people think of you or wondering if it will rain for the garden party you are throwing this weekend, it is simply wasted energy. When you find yourself worrying about something ask yourself this question. Can you do something about it? Yes? Well do what has to be done. No? Well stop worrying!
7. Stop defining happiness
This is something that I have written about before, and still something that I need to remind myself of. Happiness is an emotion, a state of mind, not a destination. You will not be happy when *insert your ultimate goal here*, you can choose to be happy now. You can choose to soak up the moments and be grateful for the now. It’s impossible to be happy all the time, just be human.
Is there something you need to stop doing right now? (Besides procrastinating by reading blogs of course!)