life | love | Personal Musings

I have a dilemma


Parenting is hard work. We all know that. Navigating the waters day to day as the tide ebbs and flows, is both joyous and challenging, and you never really know when the rip is going to pull you under.

Well, it’s well and truly dragging me under at the moment and I’m struggling to keep my head above water.

I have a dilemma. With four daughters, there’s always one dilemma or another, but this one is really doing my head in.

One of our daughters wants to do something, that will deeply affect her younger sister. It is something she has been talking to me about for quite a while, but I’ve been brushing it off, hoping things would improve. But they’re not. Things have come to a head. The only problem is, if I say yes, she will be happy, but her younger sister won’t.

I really wish I could elaborate. I can’t elaborate as the decision affects other people too. It will make some people unhappy, it may affect friendships and cause politics that I don’t mean to cause.

I guess that was the good thing about when I first started blogging – when no one I knew was reading!

The thing is, deep down I feel like I know what the right thing to do is. But, then, as I roll the decision around my tongue, I get a heavy, sinking feeling. As if it isn’t the right decision.

If there was any time that I could wish for a crystal ball to see both sides into the future, it is now.

Do I give  in to daughter 1 knowing this has been stressing her for so long already?

Do I choose to say yes, knowing that child 2 will be upset, and could throw her happy (and thriving) balance out of whack?

Do I choose to upend the whole situation, make big changes, and hope that both children will wind up happy with my decision?

I know, it’s hard to ask when I’m being so vague.

I just want to make the decision that is right for both children, but I just don’t know if that’s possible in this case. And I don’t want anyone else to get offended or hurt in the process, which I really can’t see a way around. Either way.

‘Things were meant to try us.’

It’s something an old work colleague used to say. And try us they do.

Have you ever had to make a tough parenting call, that it seemed there was no right answer?

Linking with Essentially Jess, for IBOT.