I’m in a weird spot at the moment and it’s hard to articulate, which is the reason or excuse I suppose that I am using for not blogging as much lately. I just have so much I want to do. So many thoughts and ideas running around my head and so little time. I know I need to make the time, but I is there ever enough?
I’m an over-achiever from way back. Sometimes it’s a good thing; I work best under pressure, I get things done, I strive for excellence. But for the most part it’s a character flaw. I pile too much on my plate and then scream at the world when the pressures on. I’m sure a psychologist out there would have a wonderful unpronounceable definition for this behaviour.
Yet I know I’ve been here many times before: being torn between something having to give but not wanting to give up anything.
So here I sit tossing up the least important things that I should be letting go. If only the decision was easy. It’s not. Sometimes I wish I didn’t need to sleep. Imagine how amazing 7-8 hours extra in each day would be! But really, would it be enough? I’d like to think I would fill those hours with productiveness but would it be too good to be true? And I need sleep. There’s nothing better than snuggling under the doona and drifting off into a world of sleep.
Perhaps it just comes down to my impatience. There are things that I am waiting on to happen. Things that will take time but in my mind I am already past that point. I am waiting, waiting, waiting. This is when I need to slap my wrist to snap out of it. Live in the present! I yell at myself. The present is now, the future is to come! Yes. Easier said than done.
I’ve so much writing that I want to do, and I’ve become stuck in the rut of ‘I need more time‘. True, I do, but also true is the fact that I need to make the time. As I said, somethings got to give. I know it yet I dance around the fact as if magically it will happen by itself.
I haven’t got anywhere with this thought process have I? I’m simply delaying the inevitable. Making excuses and dreaming of la-la land a.k.a ‘the perfect world’. I think I’ve been here before…
Tell me, is there ever enough time? Of anything?
How do you tackle hard decisions?
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