November has been a difficult month.
Although, in reflection of the horrible atrocities that have been happening across our world, my difficult pales in comparison. But I can’t offer any solutions for the world’s pain, even though I wish I could. All I can do is share in the grief, offer hope and tender positivity. And continue in building my own life, and that of my children. Teaching and showing them that compassion, understanding and acceptance are the way forward.
As for my ‘difficult‘, I’ve been dealing with a lack of inspiration, periods of, as I like to call it, ‘numb-mind syndrome’, and serious lack of time to devote to my writing. It will pass. This I know, and for this I am grateful. Until then, I’m not beating myself up about it. I’m simply taking things one day at a time, dealing with pressing issues and leaving the rest to simmer in the background.
So, to another of my ‘What I’ve learned in 2015 posts’.
If you didn’t know, my word for 2015 was ‘Fearless‘. I wrote about my interpretation of the word and what it means to me in this post, in case you missed it. But, for those who don’t have the time to click over and read, I’ll quickly refresh you.
Fearless to me isn’t about pushing fear aside, laughing at it and striding ahead no matter what. For me, being fearless is more about embracing the fear, recognising the type of fear, and, to be more specific ‘fearing less’.
Fearing- less of the self-doubt, the lack of confidence and that little monster that sits on my shoulder spewing negativity in my ear.
Fearless is about the courage to move towards where I want to be, and how I want to live my life. Not necessarily without fear, as fear certainly has it’s place, but moving forward with confidence in myself and my vision. And not letting anyone or anything, including fear, take that from me.
So what have I learned in my fear-less adventure?
I’ve learned that fearing less has a cumulative effect.
I think of it as little pebbles of courage along my journey. Each time I’m fearless, I pocket a pebble of courage and I move forward with more direction and purpose. The courage builds with each step I take.
Now, I have a whole bag full of courage pebbles. But it’s not heavy, as they are filled with helium. They lift me higher. Building my strength and resilience. Opening my mind to possibilities and options. They are allowing me to see through the murky waters of a creative career to the glistening, turquoise waters of clarity. I can see what it looks like. Without fear.
I’ve gained the confidence to put more of my writing out there.
I’ve entered writing competitions.
I’ve workshopped my works in progress.
I’ve entered a mentorship program.
I’ve begun the copywriting side of my business.
I’ve said no to pursuits that don’t meet my needs and vision.
I’ve said yes to things that I normally wouldn’t.
And I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone on more than one occasion. Quite a few actually. And you know what? It’s not that bad out there. In fact, there are hundreds of shiny white courage pebbles there to be collected!
By fearing-less, I am more fearless. And next, comes the firm belief that what I want, is possible.
What have your learned about yourself this year?