Making peace

I’ve been making peace with myself. I don’t like to get all philosophical and deep, okay, I do, but there has been a whole lot of personal growth going on here behind the scenes and I feel so much lighter and calmer as a result.

This week I blogged two important pieces that were very close to my heart.

The first one about my ‘big idea‘ was the post I had to write, kind of like the ‘recession we had to have’. I needed to get that out there, out of my head where it had been clogging up my thoughts and derailing my plans. Getting it out there was enough for me to make peace with the idea. Although a great idea that I know I would have put my heart and soul into, it wasn’t the right idea for me. So what suddenly jolted me to that conclusion? A combination of seeing in it in words to realise the time commitment that would be necessary and also seeing an online friend start up something very similar.

Nicole has just made live her new website/blog ‘Beautiful Crazy Life‘. Although not a flipbook as I was leaning towards, the premise, angle and target market is just perfectly inline with my vision. Needless to say I contacted Nic and offered to be a contributor. My first article is now live, you can read it here. I have now  made peace with my idea and settled with being a regular contributor to the site which I know is going to be fantastic. You see, everything happens for a reason.

The second piece I blogged last week was titled ‘This is who I am’ . This post has also been rattling around in me for quite a while. I knew that when the time was right I would know. Last week was that time.

Little by little I have been growing more confident with who I am. Bit by bit I have been accepting that there is nothing wrong with whom I am and what makes me, me. Any anxiety or inferiority I hold is unnecessary and illogical. So I let it all go. Just like that. I made peace with who I am. Judge as you will for I am free of judgment. Any judgment others make is their own to deal with and no concern of mine.

I’ve also made peace with where I am in life. I wear a lot of hats and most of them I don’t want to give up. I was suffering from feeling like I have to give up something to move forward, but I don’t. There has been a series of events that have lead to this revelation as infinite as it is, which I won’t go into detail with, but I have made my peace.

I can juggle my time to work more at my dance wear store and at the same time when it’s not busy I can still write and do my web strategy consulting. I’ve been doing this for the week and it has worked really well. I’m more present at home with the kids, because my mind is not elsewhere and I’m enjoying life more. Miss 5 is enjoying her new care arrangement with a lovely and generous family friend and I still finish in time to run kids around after school and get dinner on the table. Night times are then free to write some more and of course spend some quality time with my better half. Life is good and dare I say it… balanced.

It’s a nice feeling this making peace. I can’t think of a better word to describe it other than ‘calming’. I feel all ‘zen-like’. It’s nice.

 

Have you made peace with yourself lately?