As a budding fiction writer I find myself at times struggling with guilt when I sit down to work on my manuscript. Mostly, I’m good at focusing and brushing off the negative thoughts about my writing, but sometimes that little devil of torment sits on my shoulder and refuses to budge.
His little whispers creep into my head and swirl round and round.
“You should be working – you know, doing something that actually earns you money.”
“Isn’t there housework to be done?”
“You really should be spending more time with the kids.”
“You know you’re just wasting your time. You’re not even a good writer.”
“You’ll never get anywhere with this fiction thing, it’s all a waste of time.”
“You really think you will ever be published? Excuse me while I ROFLOL…”
It seems I’m not alone though. I asked the question on my Facebook page and over on Twitter and many replied that they too suffer from this affliction. One of my online peeps Sarah, even said it is the reason why she no longer blogs or writes anymore. Now that is sad!
I wonder why we feel this way?
For me it is because I feel there is so much else I should be doing. I feel selfish and indulgent when I take time out to write my fiction. I find myself doing my paid writing first (which of course should come first) and everything else that needs doing before I allow myself time to write. By this time, it is usually 10pm at night and my bed is beckoning!!
At other times I feel guilty for feeling guilty about writing. There are plenty of other successful authors who manage to write with both full time jobs and being a parent. They don’t whinge and complain, they just get in and do it. They make the most of every spare moment, so surely that must mean I’m a crap writer because I feel guilty about writing. Is it simply just another excuse not to write?
These are the things that go through my head.
The problem is, I’m at my happiest when I write. That time when I’m tapping away at they keys visualizing my characters mid-scene I feel like a kid again. A kid with a wild imagination. It’s both fun and powerful being in charge of their lives. To think with one swift push of the delete key I could wipe them off their fictional planet!
When I’m not writing, I’m usually thinking about writing and wishing I was writing. That’s when I get snappy with people. My patience wears thin and the grumpy pants tighten around my waist.
And then, when I haven’t written I feel guilty for not writing!
It’s a no win scenario!
Blogging is the same. Blogging isn’t making me any money and it isn’t using my time towards my other writing, so cue the double ball of guilt when I blog!
I’m not sure how to get past it other than to just write. I don’t think there is any magic cure or quick fix solution. I think every writer suffers from writer’s guilt at some stage, even many stages.
I need to paste this above my work station:
Do you suffer from writer’s or blogger’s guilt?